Step 3: Realize that you cannot trust in your current core value as much as you can trust in logic
This process must happen on a subconscious, emotional level. Make sure you don't have any distractions and you are in a very calm, relaxed state.
You should connect a negative emotion to your current core value by explaining to your inner child how he cannot trust in what it is holding on to. You can then connect a positive emotion to logic by, once again, empathically explaining to your inner child how he can unconditionally trust in logic.
Moreover, you can also tell your inner child how logic provides a lot more safety than your current core value.
Visualization is very useful to set an emotional stage. You should always try to connect concepts (such as your core value, inner child and logic) to images and then link negative or positive emotions to those images.
Going back and forth between the positive and negative emotions (holding longer to the negative ones) has proved to be an effective way to complete the paradigm shift. This is known as the “Yo-yo technique” and you can check a lot more information on how to do it by continuing to read.
Before initiating Step 3, make sure the following premises are met: you should already have an unconditional trust in logic and a good understanding of what core value is emotionally driving all your actions.
Furthermore, although rationality can help increasing the negative feelings towards your current core value, you shouldn’t force the click at any moment. That will only make things worse.
You should also be aware that depending on your ability to be emotionally intelligent, clicking might take more or less time.
There are 3 things that you will need to follow to complete this paradigm shift:
- Prepare the right setting to make the click;
- Connect negative emotions to your current core value and positive ones to logic;
- Compare both through visualization.
After those, there is one last pointer presenting information on the reason why some people think or pretend they clicked, something that everyone should be wary about.
- Situations in which people might have not experienced the click.
- 1 Prepare the right setting to make the click
- 2 Connect negative emotions to your current core value and positive ones to logic
- 3 Compare both through visualization
- 4 Situations in which people might have not experienced the click
Prepare the right setting to make the click
Be in the present
Make sure you don't have any distractions and you are in a very calm, relaxed state. Meditation and focusing on your breath can help a lot.
Accepting and understanding your emotions and thoughts instead of constantly dwelling on them will also allow you to become more at ease. Other methods like, for example, water fasting or increasing exhaustion through exercise might help in diminishing any resistance. You should always first consult a doctor when attempting to do any of the previous.
Be prepared to feel vulnerable
Your current core value was the way your inner child found to cope with all its insecurities, anxieties, and doubts. It might seem intimidating at first but you should be prepared to confront yourself with all these fears. You will most likely reach a very vulnerable state that some people best described as “being naked in front of a mirror”. This is fine as it will allow you to reach your emotional core.
Use visualization techniques (or other senses)
Imagination is very useful to set an emotional stage, as thinking in images taps into the more primitive part of our brain. Smell, taste and body posture might also trigger emotional responses when used effectively.
Connect negative emotions to your current core value and positive ones to logic
Once we identify our core value, we often realize that our self-image (or identity) is merely a “story” that we create to cope with our insecurities and to make us feel safe. This generally leads to very dysfunctional illogical behavior which most of the time even goes against our idea of what is beneficial to us.
Since this behavior emerges as a direct consequence of the subconscious urge to fulfill our core value, it’s important to have a foundation that is both solid and accurate. Adopting logic as a core value provides us exactly that, automatically contributing to the formation of a much stronger belief system and more mental stability.
Even though this process must happen on a subconscious, emotional level, you can first think about the reasons why you cannot trust in your core value as much as you can trust in logic.
Some people clicked without rationally thinking too much about the reasons why logic would be better than their core value (the reason is almost self-explanatory) but going through this step might still be important for the people that have a harder time to create enough dissonance to click. In the next lines, we will consider ways to accomplish that.
Understand that you cannot trust in the intersubjective reality, only in the objective one
The intersubjective reality is made up of the things in which many individuals, within the larger community, believe (socially constructed ideas such as money, gods, nations). On the other hand, the objective reality exists independently of feelings or beliefs (for example, gravity).
Today, people have an indisputable trust towards money. No racism or discrimination. Money has no name and we trust in it to provide for our comfort. When your inner child trusts in money to provide for his safety, it is trusting in the intersubjective reality. You literally truly trust in something that many people value and accept it as a reality.
But as we have seen time and time again, money might devalue or even suddenly disappear from one moment to another. In the crash of Wall Street in 1929, a lot of people who lost all their savings committed suicide by jumping from buildings. With Brexit, the pound devalued and then bounced back up. Last year, the euro was worth much more than the dollar.
This might also happen in other situations. If you have a job or you live with your parents, you know that it’s not going to last forever.
We build our entire life on a reality that only exists within the mind of lots and lots of people. When you realize that, you begin distrusting comfort or anything that feeds it – be it money, gods or trends – simply because the reality in which they exist is a temporary one. It will end eventually.
We fail to understand that only the objective reality will prevail over time. We can unconditionally trust in logic because the reality that logic brings about is the only one that truly exists. This indestructible trust will give you an extreme feeling of safety, like nothing that you have ever experienced.
Visualize logic vs. your current core value in a range of situations
The methods presented below often create a lot dissonance and therefore might be useful to generate an emotional state. These are merely ways that you can use, you should always see what works best for you.
i. Remember the moments in your life where your current core value was detrimental to you
While doing this, keep in mind that the most important part of this process is to stir up negative emotions to the top of the cauldron, and then connect them to your current core value. To do this, review the moments you’ve decided to recall in great detail (visualization may help), let yourself feel any emotions, and connect all the negative ones to your current core value by realizing that it is thanks to it that you got ‘screwed over’.
ii. Review common ‘things’/scenarios that you’re unsatisfied with, and that are caused by your current core value
Examples of such ‘things’/scenarios include a lack of self-esteem, procrastination, inability to achieve what you want, destructive habits (e.g. eating unhealthily, sitting all day, smoking, etc.). Compare how these ‘things’/scenarios would differ if you had logic as your core value instead of the one you have now.
iii. Project into the future and see how your current core value compares to logic
What will your life be like in the future if you keep your current core value rather than switching to logic? Will it be better or worse? Happier or sadder? Meaningful or thrown away? Go through all aspects of your life that matter to you, and compare the short-term and long-term outcomes that you will reap in those areas if you have your current core value versus if you have logic. The results of your evaluation will generally speak for themselves.
Visualizing all the suffering that is caused by your core value can also help. For example, if you have comfort as your core value and like to play video games, you can visualize yourself sitting on top of a pile of bones while playing video games.
Compare both through visualization
Some people have clicked while completing the previous steps but if you have reached this stage without accomplishing it, make sure you are in a state of total presence and be mentally, emotionally, as well as physically ready to make the click (that includes no distractions or disturbances from your environment).
Visualization is a very effective method to reach to your emotional core. For millions of years, our ancestors survived by attaching emotions to what they saw around them and it was only recently that humans developed the ability to speak and think rationally. That is the reason why thinking in images brings you closer to your emotional core, tapping into the more primitive part of the brain.
There are 4 main pointers that you should follow in order to achieve this paradigm shift:
Create a personification of logic
By personifying logic, you construct a mental object that you can easily recall, and use as a link to logic. Since bringing an image to your mind unlocks the emotions associated with it, you will have an easier time feeling as if someone or something is looking over you.
This visual construct will enable you to:
- Look upon logic as something that you could trust to always be there;
- Feel as if you can always turn to it, had you any questions or concerns;
- Feel as if you would never be alone, always supported, and always have logic to lean back on.
Many people visualized it as an ‘individual’ and/or a ‘something’ that gave them a warm feeling and in which they could trust unconditionally (some examples include a mother, a close friend, or God: others include a paladin, a wise person, or your own logical version.) Several people have also reported this lead to a monumental intensification of trust for logic.
Below, to give you one idea, an example of how one of the clickers imagined it:
“I personified logic as a miniature of the universe, a ring, and an ethereal arcane power that would merge with the body of my inner child, make it drop the truthfully malicious and sinister teddy bear of comfort, and grant it the power to transform into a mighty dragon that would infuse my mind with wisdom and strength, and orbit the face of the Earth to purge it of illogic.”
After clicking, you should still leverage your personifications to stay connected with logic.
It’s critically important to experience the emotional states throughout this process, and it’s not enough to merely think about them. Visualization and recalling positive memories related to your personification (e.g. a friend) can help you feel these emotions.
Create a personification of your core value
Personifying comfort is just as simple as personifying logic. You can follow the exact same steps, just make sure that you connect negative emotions to your personification rather than positive.
Most clickers personified their core value as a teddy bear their inner child was clanging on to. A clicker used this example:
“I visualized a very frightened, trembling child version of me holding on to a teddy bear that was becoming heavier and heavier as time went on.”
This is just an example to give you some direction. You can and should always frame your visualizations in ways that you think are the most suitable to reach to your emotional core.
Compare both using the “yo-yo technique”
This technique has proved to be fundamental for people with low emotional intelligence and thus, having a hard time connecting with their emotional core (but it will obviously apply to everyone).
To begin with, in a relaxed position and in a very non-judgmental way, began by bringing up any negative emotions without connecting them with your core value. The goal is to become very at ease with the presence of dissonance.
Every time your attention drifts, slowly focus again on the dissonance (this process can sometimes take from 5 to 10 minutes). At your own time, proceed by gently connecting these negative emotions to your core value.
Next, bring back to the mind your personification of logic and connect positive emotions to it.
Go back and forth between dissonance and resonance a couple of times (creating a wave or yo-yo effect), every time holding onto the negative emotions longer. After about 3-4 times, you might begin to feel a lot more emotional due to the contrast between each state of mind which will often make it easier to access your emotional core and make the click.
The “Yo-yo process” in a nutshell: 2min negative comfort, 2mins positive logic. Start off very gently, then gradually build up the amount of dissonance and resonance. Don’t drift your attention from your emotions, make sure you “ride the emotional wave”.
Use other senses
Besides visualization, you can also leverage other senses to enter an emotional state. People have used smell, taste, touch to connect emotions to both their core value and logic. Others also used their body (adjusted posture, tonality, movement, etc.) in a way that was congruent with the emotions that their personifications experienced in the visualization.
In that regard, here’s an example of how a clicker went about it:
“My inner child who clung on to the teddy bear of comfort was hunched over in my vision, and progressively got more so as he didn’t want to change core value. Therefore, I physically moved my seated body into a more and more hunched over posture to the point where it even became painful. Then, once I had reached the emotional pinnacle where I was totally repulsed by comfort, I stood up, did push-ups until fatigue, and then proceeded by walking around in my room and talking aloud as if giving a speech. A key component of my speech was extensive use of gestures and body language (engaging my body generated more emotion). During my speech, I switched between speaking directly to my inner child while explaining, in general terms, why I needed to change core value, and speaking indirectly to my inner child, while giving a lecture about what would happen once I changed my core value (a very passionate lecture). Moreover, I allowed my voice to employ an evermore angry tone, as the dislike I felt for comfort intensified.
Note: I was giving this speech simultaneously while visualizing my personifications of logic and my core value. Consequently, I would often times speak with my eyes closed, and the speech might have been subject to frequent interruptions.
Lastly, as I reached a peak of resentment for my core value, while yet having a deep rooted love for logic, a black hole emerged from which the light of logic was seeping through. I hit the floor and bowed before the light in my vision while correspondingly changing my tonality from one of anger to one of absolute respect. At this point, I had let go of the teddy bear of comfort and began merging with logic…”
In summation, it can help to use your body in a way that is congruent with you visions to intensify the emotional experience.
Situations in which people might have not experienced the click
The click should come naturally when you reach your emotional core and the paradigm shift usually happens instantaneously.
After having clicked, people have often experienced a tremendous relief. In their own words, all their problems, such as a lack of self-esteem, vanished instantaneously; they entered a lasting state of total clarity and peace of mind; and have been acting from a place of flow ever since.
Often, some people experience very similar side-effects when their core value comes as a big revelation or while trying to foster their appreciation for logic. While it’s certainly possible to click without following a specific process, it’s important to be aware of the “placebo effect”.
This effect is the result of how our beliefs influence the chemistry of our brain and might induce us into believing that we are experiencing the clicking effects, even though we are most likely being driven by wishful thinking. This effect is generally most prevalent in people whose core value is “fitting in”.
Additionally, even though many people who feel safe with their current core value can rationally understand why logic is much better and even want it, their inner child is still fundamentally holding on to what it knows it works. When that core value is either “fitting in” or “validation-seeking”, people can even pretend that they want to click merely to comfort their sense of reason or to feed their social cravings. In those occasions, it’s important to be honest with ourselves and recognize if we want to go through this paradigm shift at all.
Nonetheless, if you think you have clicked, make sure to read the guide for people that clicked, where you will find all the important information.