Step 3: Realize that your current core value doesn't provide as much safety as logic
Important points to prepare the right setting to make the click
At this point in the process, you should already have an unconditional trust in logic and a good understanding of what core value is emotionally driving all your actions. Make sure these two premises are met before proceeding to the next phase.
Once we identify our core value, we often realize that our self-image or identity is merely a “story” that we create to cope with our insecurities and to make us feel safe. This generally leads to very dysfunctional illogical behavior which most of the time even goes against our idea of what is beneficial to us.
Since this behavior emerges as a direct consequence of the subconscious urge to fulfill our core value, it’s important to have a foundation that is both solid and accurate. Adopting logic as a core value provides us exactly that, automatically contributing to the formation of a much stronger belief system and more mental stability.
This process must happen on a subconscious, emotional level. To begin with, it's important to be in the present. Make sure you don't have any distractions and you are in a very calm, relaxed state. Meditation and focusing on your breath can help a lot. Accepting and understanding your emotions and thoughts instead of constantly dwelling on them will also allow you to become more at ease. Other methods like for example water fasting or increasing exhaustion through exercise might help in relieving any resistance. You should always first consult a doctor when attempting to do any of the previous.
The science behind the process
Studies have shown that being in the present increases our emotional awareness. Self-observing profoundly changes the way our brain works, by activating the self-regulating neocortical regions – advanced parts of the brain that give us an incredible amount of control over our feelings. When we are self-aware, we can alter misplaced emotions because we control the thoughts that cause them.
This process is often used in psychotherapy, in which a belief attached to an emotion – referred to as a “consolidated memory” in medical terminology – is retrieved through reflection or self-analysis. Different techniques are then used to relieve or detach the emotion associate with that belief, restoring and reconsolidating the memory through a protein synthesis’ process.
A paradigm shift follows a very similar process. Through self-analysis, we retrieve the emotions of safety connected with our current core value and then we connect those emotions with logic, reconsolidating the memory with a different belief or core value. Again, this process must happen on a subconscious, emotional level.
The process itself
Your current core value was the way your “inner child” found to cope with all its insecurities, anxieties, and doubts. It might seem intimidating at first but you should be prepared to confront yourself with all these fears. You will most likely reach a very vulnerable state that some people best described as “being naked in front of a mirror”. At this point in the process, you should connect a negative emotion to your current core value by explaining to your inner child how what it is holding on to is not beneficial to the safety of both. You can then connect a positive emotion to logic by, once again, empathically explaining to your inner child how logic as a core value provides a lot more safety.
Imagination is very useful to set an emotional stage. For example, visualizing a very frightened, trembling “inner child” version of you holding on to your current unsafe core value might help in tapping into your emotions. In the same way, some people found helpful to visualize and embody logic as a friend, a mother or even God to strengthen the emotional connection with it. These are just examples to give you some direction. You can and should always frame your visualizations in ways that you think are the most suitable to reach to your emotional core.
Although rationality can help increasing the negative feelings towards your current core value, you shouldn’t force the click at any moment. Using the “inner child” concept is merely a way to emphasize the need to do it emotionally.
Ultimately, the clicking process is a very personal one. While the common thread is the fact that it always happens on an emotional level, people have used several variants of the method I just finished describing. Be aware that depending on your ability to be emotionally intelligent, clicking might take more or less time.
The click should come naturally when you reach your emotional core and the paradigm shift usually happens instantaneously.
Situations in which people might have not experienced the click
Making the click sets in motion an avalanche of effects that can sound mind-blowing at first. A rush of dopamine in your brain is released, leading to an euphoric feeling and a big relief.
Often, some people experience very similar side-effects when their core value comes as a big revelation or while trying to foster their appreciation for logic. While it’s certainly possible to click without following a specific process, it’s important to be aware of the “placebo effect”. This effect is the result of how our beliefs influence the chemistry of our brain and might induce us into believing that we are experiencing the clicking effects, even though we are most likely being driven by wishful thinking. This effect is generally most prevalent in people whose core value is “fitting in”.
Additionally, even though many people who feel safe with their current core value can rationally understand why logic is much better and even want it, their inner child is still fundamentally holding on to what it knows it works. When that core value is either “fitting in” or “validation-seeking”, people can even pretend that they want to click merely to comfort their sense of reason or to feed their social cravings. In those occasions, it’s important to be honest with ourselves and recognize if we want to go through this paradigm shift at all.